HECTOR
He's been gone for ages. 
Do you think he did it?

BRIDGET
Nah, I bet he didn’t dare!

Sound of laughter

NICK 
Well, there you go. One bottle of milk. One tin of tuna.

ANNIE 
Bravo, Nick! Come on, Bridget, your turn. Do your dare.

BRIDGET 
Bernard, I love you! You're the one for me! Please, let's run away together.

NICK 
Hi, Bernard.

ANNIE 
Hello, Bernard. OK?

Sound of laughter

NICK 
Oh, let's do it again! Tell the truth or do a dare.

ANNIE 
Oh, Ziggy! 
Now do you want to tell the truth? Well, then you have to do a dare.

HECTOR 
Yeah, but what dare?

ANNIE 
Oh, I know. I dare you to... kiss Nick!  [Sound of laughter]

NICK, ANNIE & HECTOR
Ooh! Bridget!!

HECTOR 
Truth or dare?

BRIDGET 
A dare!

HECTOR 
OK. I dare you to copy someone in this room.

 

BRIDGET 
Someone in this room, eh? Nick! 
Right! My turn. Nick!

NICK 
A dare! I dare myself to kiss Bridget. Ha-ha, OK!

ANNIE  
Not another dare. Why not the truth?
NICK 
The truth?

ANNIE 
Yes! Nobody wants to speak the truth. 
I dare you, I dare all of you to speak the truth.

HECTOR 
OK, let's speak the truth.

ANNIE 
For a whole day.

HECTOR 
Tomorrow.

NICK 
But... no lies?

ANNIE 
No lies. 
And the winner, we buy the winner dinner for two at the Ivy Restaurant!

HECTOR 
OK, twenty four hours of truth.

Sound of stopwatch counting time

ANNIE 
You will the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

WAITER 
Welcome to the Ivy, Miss Evans. Mr P is waiting for you at your usual table.

Sound of stopwatch counting time

ANNIE 
The whole truth and nothing but the truth. 
The truth.

NICK 
Aarrgh!

ANNIE 
What's wrong with you?

NICK 
Nothing - at all - really.

ANNIE 
Nick, is there no food in your apartment?

 

NICK 
The truth, the whole truth. 
The thing is, Annie, the truth is, on Thursdays I never go shopping. 
I just take your food.

ANNIE 
What? You mean that...

Sound of mobile phone ringing

NICK 
Handy!!
Hello? What? An audition? A commercial? When? Oh, I've got to go.

HECTOR 
Hi, Nick.

ANNIE 
Hi, Hector. What are you doing?

HECTOR 
I'm writing Things I Don't Like About Annie.

ANNIE 
What?

HECTOR 
Let's use the truth to make our relationship stronger!

ANNIE 
OK.

HECTOR 
Go on, write Things I Don't Like About Hector.

ANNIE 
OK. Things I Don't Like About Hector.

HECTOR 
Hmm.

ANNIE 
Huh!

HECTOR 
I behave like a big child?!
Hmm!

ANNIE 
I shout too much?

HECTOR 
See?! You are doing it again!

Sound of stopwatch counting time

ANNIE 
So you don't like my carrot cake.

HECTOR 
Erm...

 

ANNIE 
And you've never liked my carrot cake.

HECTOR 
No.

ANNIE 
But you always eat it.

HECTOR 
I didn't want to upset you.

ANNIE 
Well, now I am cross, very cross.

HECTOR 
See? You are shouting again.

ANNIE 
I do not shout too much!

HECTOR 
Calm down, please, Annie!

Sound of alarm beeping

BRIDGET 
Ooh! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

Banging noise/sound of phone ringing

BRIDGET
Hello? John? 
No, I don't want to see you. Goodbye. An old boyfriend, how strange.

Sound of door slamming

ANNIE 
So Hector, if we're telling the truth, let me ask you.

HECTOR 
Yes.

ANNIE 
Do you fancy Bridget?

HECTOR 
No.

ANNIE 
And before, have you ever fancied Bridget?

HECTOR 
Well...

ANNIE 
Out! Get out!

HECTOR 
But Annie … I … I!

 

ANNIE 
I hate the truth!

BRIDGET 
Annie, do I look fat in these trousers?

ANNIE 
Yes. 
To tell the truth, yes, you do look fat in those trousers.

BRIDGET 
I can't change clothes. I don't have time. Oh!

ANNIE 
And don't forget: one day of truth!

BRIDGET [Composing email] 
Last night was horrible. 
We played Truth or Dare and I had to tell our neighbour Bernard that I fancied him.

BRIDGET
You’re the one for me! Please, let’s run away together. Errghh!!

ANNIE 
Nadia, I've had a brilliant idea! 
We have to tell the truth for a whole day.

ANNIE
I dare you, I dare all  of you to speak the truth.

Sound of stopwatch counting time

NICK 
Hello! So this is a commercial for yoghurt.

CASTING DIRECTOR
That's right, Nick. Yuppy Yoghurts.

NICK 
Great!

CASTING DIRECTOR 
This is the most delicious yoghurt in the world.

NICK 
Wow! In the world! Hmm!

CASTING DIRECTOR 
So first we want you to eat some.

NICK
Ugh!!

Sound of stopwatch counting time

EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Forty five minutes late!

BRIDGET 
'm sorry, Eunice.

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
What happened this time? A fire in the house? A burglar? A big monster?

BRIDGET 
No. The bus.

WAITER
Welcome to the Ivy, Miss Evans. Mr P is waiting for you at your usual table.

BRIDGET 
No, I'm late because I overslept.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
So you overslept? 
Of course, you do need your beauty sleep. Now work!

BRIDGET 
My bag! 
Where is it?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Bridget, you know Channel Nine wants new talent? Have you found any?

BRIDGET 
No.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Well, I have. 
A new presenter.

BRIDGET 
Really? Who?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Me. Look. Hello, my darlings. What? What? Oh, oh. Oh. Hello, my darlings. 
This is the beautiful Eunice bringing you delight and wonder from Nannel Chine! 
... .... from Channel Nine! 
Thank you for all my special reports! Well, what do you think?

Sound of stopwatch counting time

CASTING DIRECTOR
We want you to eat some and then say, "Mmm, delicious!"

NICK 
Hmm, dee-licious! 
After I eat this?

CASTING DIRECTOR
Yes. Do you have a problem with that?

NICK 
No, no problem at all. Mmm! Mmm!

ANNIE 
The truth.

NICK 
Hmm! It's dee....sgusting! It’s terrible! 
It's horrible! Euchh! Do I get the part?

CASTING DIRECTOR 
Next!
Sound of stopwatch counting time

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Ridiculous? Ridiculous? What do you mean, ridiculous?

Sound of stopwatch counting time

Sound of door slamming

NICK 
Stupid yoghurt.

ANNIE 
So you didn't get it then?

NICK 
No, no.

ANNIE 
Oh, I'm sorry, Nick.

NICK 
Well, at least I don't have to eat them again. Eucch! Where's Hector?

ANNIE 
Hector? Don't talk to me about Hector!

Sound of knocking on door

BERNARD 
So where is she?

NICK 
Where is who?

BERNARD 
Bridget. I got her message and here I am.

NICK 
You have got a date with Bridget?

BERNARD 
That's right.

NICK 
This is a very, very strange day. Huh! Bridget's not in.

BERNARD 
Oh.

NICK 
Here, have a yoghurt.

BERNARD

Oh, thanks.
Sound of stopwatch counting time

Sound of door opening/closing

BRIDGET 
Handbag, handbag, handbag. 
Oh, Eunice is an ugly, bad-tempered witch! Oh, my handbag. 
Oh, it's you.

Sound of telephone ringing

BRIDGET
Hello? Who? Kevin? Three years ago, Kevin? No! No, I don't! 
Two old boyfriends. First John, now Kevin. Hmm, what a coincidence.

NICK [Composing email] 
Today I must tell the truth all day.

NICK
Mmm! Dee-licious!

NICK [Composing email]
The problem is I lost a job advertising yoghurt. 
I told them it tasted disgusting!

NICK
Mmm, it’s dee-sgusting!

NICK [Composing email]
Huh! Am I crazy?!

BRIDGET [Composing email] 
I am having such a crazy day!

BRIDGET
Do I look fat in these trousers?

ANNIE 
Yes.

BRIDGET [Composing email] 
It's very difficult to tell the truth at work all the time.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
What do you mean, ridiculous?

BRIDGET [Composing email] 
And my old boyfriends keep calling me.

BRIDGET
Kevin?

BRIDGET [Composing email]
I don’t understand what’s going on!

BRIDGET
What a coincidence!

Sound of stopwatch counting time

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Hello, Bridget. How dare you call me a witch? 
You are an ugly, bad-tempered witch.

 

BRIDGET 
I didn't send that message.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
No? It's your number.

BRIDGET 
My mobile. Someone took my mobile.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Oh, good try. The truth. Did you send that message?

BRIDGET 
No! No! 
Someone took my phone!

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
All right then. You didn't send the message. 
So what do you think of me?

BRIDGET 
The truth? 
The truth, Eunice, you're an ugly, bad-tempered witch.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
You know, Bridget, honesty is a great quality.

BRIDGET 
It is.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
It is. I hope honesty will help you... when you look for a new job. 
You're fired!

Sound of stopwatch counting time

Sound of door opening and shutting

BRIDGET 
Well, hooray for the truth.

ANNIE 
Ziggy's coming later, and then we'll decide who's the winner.

BRIDGET 
Oh, what a day. 
I need comfort food.

HECTOR 
The truth, the truth is: we were asking the wrong questions. 
Ask me what I think of your eyes.

ANNIE 
What do you think of my eyes?

HECTOR 
I think you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life.

ANNIE 
Really? 
Tell me more.

HECTOR 
I think you are the sweetest, kindest...

ANNIE 
Oh, snuggly-puppy!

HECTOR 
Oh, sugar-plum! Oh, oh...

BRIDGET 
Euuurhhh, I feel sick.

Sound of stopwatch counting time

Sound of telephone ringing

BRIDGET 
Hello? Oh, not again. Listen, Stuart, OK, 
I finished with you because you have no personality, no money and no sense of humour. 
More old boyfriends! I don't understand it.

Sound of strumming guitar

BERNARD
Ah, Bridget. At last. Oh, Bridget, my fair. Oh, Bridget, ... ... ....

BRIDGET 
Stop! Stop! Why are you doing this?

BERNARD 
But you told me to come.

BRIDGET 
I told you to come?

BERNARD 
I got your text.

BRIDGET 
Who is sending all these messages from my mobile?

Sound of stopwatch counting time

BRIDGET
John? No, I don’t  want to see you. Goodbye!

BERNARD 
So where is she? I got her message and here I am!

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Call me a witch? You're fired!

BRIDGET 
My bag! Handbag, handbag. Grrrr! 
Eunice is an ugly, bad-tempered witch. Oh, it's you. Oh! Nick!

Sound of stopwatch speeding up

BRIDGET
It was you, wasn’t it!

HECTOR 
I think Bridget should be the winner.
ANNIE 
Yes, we'll pay for dinner for two at the Ivy.

BRIDGET 
Yes! I'm going to the Ivy!
Eunice?!

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
So what do you want?

BRIDGET
Huh?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN [Reading text message]
Please come to my flat at 7pm. Now what do you want?

BRIDGET 
I didn't text you. 
Ziggy stole my phone and sent those messages.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Hmm.

Sound of strumming guitar

BERNARD 
Oh, lady of such beauty I've never seen.

BRIDGET 
Who's this?

BERNARD 
Lady of such beauty, you shall be my queen.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Bridget, where did you find this man? 
He is perfect for Channel Nine.

BRIDGET 
He is?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
Absolutely! He'll make a perfect weather man. 
Maybe you can have your job back. 
Now, come and talk about your contract.

BRIDGET
Weird!!

NICK 
Bridget? Hmm, hmm, hmm. [Singing] ‘Oh, Bridget, she's a natural blonde. 
Her bottom is big and she wears a thong!’ 
So do I get a job too?

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA, Nick becomes a pilot, 
Hector is his hostess and why has Eunice come to stay?

EXTRA, don't miss it.