BRIDGET [reading email message]
"I got the photos, thanks. Your friends look cute. 
Do they know about me?" 
"Well, they know I have a sister, 
but they don't know I have an identical twin!" 
"Well, don't tell them and we'll have some fun. 
I'll see you on the 16th of June. My plane lands at 3. 
I'll get a taxi from the airport. 
Love you, Chrissy."

HECTOR [speaking on the phone in Spanish]
No, mama, no es … …

BRIDGET and HECTOR
Mothers!

HECTOR 
My mother thinks I am 10 years old.

BRIDGET 
My Mum treats me like a baby too.

HECTOR 
My Mum doesn't understand me.

BRIDGET 
My Mum doesn't understand me, but Chrissy is perfect.

HECTOR 
Who is Chrissy?

BRIDGET 
Oh, she's my sister.

Sound of telephone ringing

BRIDGET
Oh, excuse me. Hi? Oh, hello Mother. 
Yes Mother, I have remembered she’s arriving today.

HECTOR 
Oh, hi Nick. I've come to get my weights.

NICK 
Ah, Mr Romero. Take off your trousers and like down, please.

HECTOR 
Pardon, Nick?

NICK 
Ah, please, call me Doctor Jessop.

 

Sound of emergency siren

HECTOR 
Doctor Jessop?

NICK 
Hector, I want a part in the TV show Hospital Fever. I need to practise. 
Anyway, women love men in white coats.
HECTOR 
Really?

NICK 
Ha-ha-ha! So, where does it hurt?

HECTOR 
Where does what hurt?

NICK 
You are my patient so you must hurt somewhere.

HECTOR 
OK, oh, my arm, my arm hurts.

NICK 
Your leg or your arm? Leg, arm, arm, leg.

HECTOR 
Oh, OK, my leg, my leg.

NICK 
OK. Sit down please, Mr Romero. Hmm, cross your legs. 
Ha! Now, don't worry, Mr Romero, this won't hurt at all.
Arrgghhhh! Oooh, oooh!

HECTOR 
Sorry, Nick, it was an accident.

NICK 
OK. You have good reflexes.

HECTOR 
Good.

NICK 
Now, Mr Romero, please say "Ah!"

HECTOR 
Huh?

NICK 
Mmm! I thought so.

HECTOR 
What?

NICK 
You had cornflakes for breakfast.

HECTOR 
Oh.

 

NICK 
Now I must give you an injection.

HECTOR 
An injection?

NICK 
Yes, an injection.

Sound of knocking on door

BRIDGET 
It's open.

CHRISSY 
Ta-daaa!

BRIDGET 
Chrissy!! You're early. Come in, come in!

BRIDGET and CHRISSY
Twinnies!

CHRISSY 
Oh Bridget, darling, it's lovely to see you.

BRIDGET 
And you, Chrissy. 
How was your flight?

CHRISSY 
Great, but can you believe it, they lost my luggage.

BRIDGET 
Incredible. 
Oh Chrissy, look at you. You never change. You're still a teenager.

CHRISSY 
Oh, didn't we have fun then.

BRIDGET 
Yeah, at school.

CHRISSY 
"It wasn't me Miss, it was Bridget!"

BRIDGET 
"It wasn't me Miss, it was Chrissy!" 
We shared everything.

CHRISSY 
Yes, we did. 
"He loves me."

BRIDGET 
"No, he loves me, me, me!" 
Anyway, here we are now.

CHRISSY 
Bridget, do you have some clothes I could borrow? 
I travelled in this dress. I need something more comfortable.

BRIDGET 
Something like this? I bought two for the price of one.

CHRISSY 
Bridget, this looks really good.

BRIDGET 
Great.

HECTOR 
Sorry, I can't exercise. I've hurt my back.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Why, Hector. You are so muscular.

HECTOR 
Oh, thanks. How is your Mum?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
She is such a good friend. She really understands me.

HECTOR 
But I thought that...

NICK 
It's OK. I'm here. Where's the emergency?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Well, hello, Nick, the actor. 
Ooh, I love doctors.

Sound of telephone ringing

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Excuse me. Hello? 
Hello, Mummy.

NICK 
This is it! Women love doctors. Bridget can't resist me.

HECTOR 
Really?

NICK 
Hey, darling, come to Nick.

CHRISSY 
See you soon, Mummy. Love you lots. Bye! 
So Doctor, where were we? 
Ooh, I think I have a temperature.

NICK 
Madam, I think I can help. Tell me where it hurts.

ANNIE 
Hi, Hector! 
Hi, Nick! 
Hi, Bridget!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Annie, darling! How are you? Doesn't Nick look good as a doctor?

ANNIE 
Yes, he looks very, very good.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Now you must excuse me, I must do my make-up.

NICK
Ooooh!

BRIDGET 
Guess what? My twin sister Chrissy has arrived from Australia. 
She lost her luggage, so she has borrowed my clothes.

NICK 
That's it! Women love doctors! 
Today I practised for a part as a doctor and Bridget couldn't resist me!

HECTOR 
Bridget is in a really strange mood today. 
A moment ago, she said that her mother was her best friend.

ANNIE 
So?

HECTOR 
But an hour ago, she said that her mother treated her like a baby. 
I am confused.

NICK 
I wonder what Bridget was like when she was younger.

HECTOR 
I wonder what Annie was like.

ANNIE 
I wonder what Nick was like. 
Nick?

NICK 
Huh! I know what Hector was like. 
Anyway, I must continue rehearsing as Doctor Jessop, 
especially as Bridget loves doctors so much. Aha!

Sound of door slamming

ANNIE 
Ohhh! Nick only likes Bridget, Bridget, Bridget.

BRIDGET 
Am I interrupting?

ANNIE 
No.

HECTOR 
Yes.

BRIDGET 
Excuse me!

ANNIE 
But why? Nick never notices me. Ohhh! 
And he looks so handsome in his doctor's coat.

 

HECTOR 
Really?

CHRISSY  [pretending to be Bridget]
Aha! Sweet!

ANNIE
But I thought that …

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
… Your faces!
Are you two … ?

ANNIE
No!

HECTOR 
Yes.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Aw, but you look so nice together.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
So Hector, are you and Annie dating?

HECTOR 
Well...

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Come on, Hector. 
You can tell me. It's not a problem.

HECTOR 
Really?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Really.

HECTOR 
OK. I really like Annie.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Go on.

HECTOR 
But she doesn't notice me.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Well, ask her on a date.

HECTOR 
Well, should I? OK.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Oh, and Hector, when I was at the airport today, I found this magazine.

HECTOR 
Airport?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Is this you?

Are you this rich boy, Hector?

HECTOR 
Yeah, but please, don't tell Annie.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Oh, you want her to like you, not your money.

HECTOR 
Yeah.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
That is so sweet. 
Well, don't you worry. Your secret is safe with me.

HECTOR 
Oh, thanks.

Banging noise

HECTOR and NICK
Oh –ow-ow!!

HECTOR
Bridget is in a really good mood today!

NICK 
Really? Gre-at! 
Hi!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Hi, Nick darling, or Dr Jessop. 
Would you help me?

NICK 
Sure.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Would you move this exercise bike to give me more space?

NICK 
Sure. 
Yeah. Eeyahh!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Oh, you're so strong.

NICK 
I need a drink. 
Would you like one?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Yes, please.

NICK 
Aha! Bridget, darling. Have you finished, 
because now we can make a little sweet music of our own, darling.

BRIDGET 
In your dreams, Nick.

NICK 
Huh?

BRIDGET 
Who moved my bike?

NICK 
I did, because you...

BRIDGET 
Well, move it back then - if you're strong enough.

HECTOR 
Aha!

HECTOR 
Dr Romero, at your service.

ANNIE 
Ooh, hello! 
Oh, Hector, you look great! Oh, I love doctors.

BRIDGET
Oh, Hector you look great!
Oh, I love doctors.

ANNIE
I’m fed up – Nick only likes Bridget! Bridget! Bridget!
But dear Hector comforts me, he is so kind.
And Bridget is in a strange mood today.
First she said, [“Am I interrupting?”] then two minutes later she said, [“Sweet!”] 
It’s like two different people!

NICK 
First she asked me to move her bike: 
["Would you move this exercise bike to give me more space?"] 
then one minute later, she told me to put it back again: ["Who moved my bike?"] 
Huh! 
Women!

HECTOR 
Hi, Annie.

ANNIE 
Oh, hi, Hector. 
Hector, think of a card.

HECTOR 
OK, ace of diamonds.
ANNIE 
No, don't tell me.

HECTOR 
Annie?

ANNIE 
Yes, Hector?

HECTOR 
I have something to ask you.

ANNIE 
Yes, Hector?

 

HECTOR 
The thing is, do you like to come to the cinema tomorrow night with me?

ANNIE 
Pardon?

HECTOR 
Would you like to come to the cinema tomorrow night - with me?

ANNIE 
Oh, well, yes, I'd like to.

HECTOR 
OK. See you then.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
So Annie, did Hector ask you out?

ANNIE 
To the cinema, yes. Do you want to come?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]
Of course not! 
Have a great time!

ANNIE 
I wonder which film we should see.

BRIDGET 
When?

ANNIE 
When I go to the cinema with Hector, of course.

BRIDGET 
What? You and Hector are going to the cinema? 
I don't believe it.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Phew, I'm starving! Hmm! These are my favourite biscuits. 
I think there are some good films on now, Annie.

BRIDGET 
All the films are rubbish at the moment anyway. I'm starving. Ecchh! 
I hate these biscuits.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
Now I must phone the airport.

ANNIE 
Ohhhh!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] 
What is it, Annie?

ANNIE 
I don't understand. 
If you are there, then who is in the bathroom? 
What?!!

 

BRIDGET 
What? Ahhhhhhhh! 
Annie, what are you doing?

ANNIE 
But you're, you're … !

BRIDGET
… Twins.

ANNIE
Bridget, I didn’t know!

BRIDGET 
This is my twin sister Chrissy.
Didn't I tell you about her?

ANNIE 
Ahh! Now I understand. So Nick and Hector don't know that you are twins.

BRIDGET 
No, I don't think so.
You know, we could have some fun with this …

ANNIE 
Maybe a magic trick? 
Hector! Nick! Come in! 
You are just in time to see my new magic trick. Take a seat.

HECTOR 
Wow, I can't wait.

ANNIE 
Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, just gentlemen. 
Today I will make my lovely assistant Bridget disappear! 
Enter, Bridget!

Sound of drum roll

NICK and HECTOR
Whoo-whoooo! Whoo-whoooo!

ANNIE 
OK, Bridget, in you go. 
Bridget. Bridget! 
I will make Bridget disappear from this box and appear in this box.

NICK 
Oh, this I must see.

ANNIE 
Now a tap with the magic wand.

NICK and HECTOR
Hey! Hey!

ANNIE 
Which means that the first box is empty.

NICK and HECTOR 
Whooo! Hey!

ANNIE 
Bridget, you are moving quickly today. 
Let's just check that the other box is empty.

HECTOR 
Hey! 
She's going round the back.

ANNIE 
OK, gentlemen, place your bets, please. 
Which box do you think Bridget is in?

NICK 
The box on the left.

HECTOR 
No, no, the box on the right.

ANNIE 
OK. Let's see. 
A drum roll, please.
Sound of drum roll

ANNIE
Gentlemen, applause, please, for Bridget and Chrissy! 
Oh, I think there's something wrong with the audience. 
Is there a doctor in the house?

BRIDGET 
Bye, Chrissy, come back again!

CHRISSY 
I will, I promise. Bye, Bridget.

BRIDGET 
Oh, Chrissy, I'll miss you. Oh! She forgot her magazine. 
What?! 
It can't be! 
It is! 
It's Hector!

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA, Hector helps build some new shelves, 
Nick helps build some new shelves, and what happens 
when the landlady's cousin comes to stay? EXTRA, don't miss it.