BRIDGET [reading horoscope] 
Taurus: "Today you will have a change in career which will give you more money."

BRIDGET
More money! 
Ohhh! It's my lucky day. 
Now where was I? 
99, 100. Good, that's done. 
Now the cushions. In my special order: orange, pink, purple...

HECTOR 
Hi, Bridget.

BRIDGET 
Oh, hi Hector. Red.

HECTOR 
Hi, Annie.

ANNIE 
I'm just... Bridget, no! 
It's OK, Bridget, you didn't see it. You didn't see it!

BRIDGET 
What are you wearing? Take it off!

HECTOR 
What?

BRIDGET 
Your shirt, it's that colour. Take it off.

HECTOR 
This shirt? What is wrong with the colour? What's wrong with yell...

ANNIE
Ahhh!

BRIDGET 
Don't say it! 
Don't say that colour. Just take it off and throw it out!

HECTOR 
OK, OK.

BRIDGET 
Done?

HECTOR 
Done.
ANNIE 
Bridget must not see anybody wearing that colour.

HECTOR 
Why?

BRIDGET 
Because that colour - urghhh! - is very unlucky for me and today is Lotto day!

HECTOR 
Lotto day. What's...

BRIDGET 
The Lottery. 
I pick 5 numbers. My numbers are: 66, 11, 89, 18 and 69. 
If my numbers are the same as the Lottery numbers on television, I win millions!

HECTOR 
I've never heard of it.

ANNIE 
Bridget gets very excited.

HECTOR 
Oh.

BRIDGET 
But I know how to keep calm.

ANNIE
Yoga.
So, there we are, Hector.

HECTOR 
Great. I am going shopping. Do you need anything?

BRIDGET 
Yes. 
Could you get my dress from the dry cleaner's, please?

HECTOR 
Dry cleaner's? OK.

BRIDGET 
The blue ticket is on the board.

HECTOR 
Oh. Got it. See you later, Bridget.

NICK 
4-6-4-7. Hector!

HECTOR 
Hi, Nick. I've just been to see Bridget.

NICK 
Yes, I can see. Anyway, where are you going?

HECTOR 
Oh, I am going shopping.

 

NICK 
Ah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. 
Come in here. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. 
Pen, pen, I need a... aha! pen. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. Paper. 
Paper! 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. Hoo! Thanks, Hector.

HECTOR 
What is it?

NICK 
Aha! Today I met a girl called Emily. 
She is very beautiful - long blonde hair, big...

HECTOR 
Yes?

NICK 
...blue eyes, and she is crazy about me.

HECTOR 
Where did you meet her?

NICK 
She was in her sports car. [Imitates car revving noise] 
At the traffic lights.

HECTOR
Oh!

NICK
I asked her for a lift. She said 2No”/ 
but she shouted her phone number – 7-9-6-4-6-4-7.

HECTOR 
Oh, I see.

NICK 
Mwahh, ha-ha-ha! Hey! 
Maybe she has a friend or a sister.

HECTOR 
Wow, yeah!

NICK 
Let's go out. Today is my lucky day.

VOICE ON TELEVISION
Now it's time for the National Lottery.

BRIDGET 
Oh good. Is this my lucky day?

VOICE ON TELEVISION
And the numbers are...

Sound of telephone ringing

BRIDGET 
Yes? 
Oh, hello, Mother. Yes, well, I'm a bit busy. Can I call you - back? 
Ahhh! I've won! Mum! I've won! I must go.

VOICE ON TELEVISION
And those were this week's lucky numbers.

BRIDGET 
Oh, whooaaaahhhhhh!

ANNIE 
What is it?

BRIDGET 
Annie! Ahhhhh!

ANNIE 
Bridget, I can't understand you!

BRIDGET 
Annie, I have won the National Lottery!

BRIDGET and ANNIE
Aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Whooahhhhhhh!

BRIDGET 
From now on, it will be a life of luxury. 
Designer clothes!

ANNIE
Exotic holidays!

BRIDGET
Luxury homes!
The very best restaurants!

ANNIE
… Or mixing with the stars! [Ah …].

BRIDGET
But of course I will give a lot of money to charity. 
No more work, no more bosses.
In fact I’ll call now and resign.

Dialling sound on mobile phone

VOICEMAIL MESSAGE
Hello, this is Harry Bowler. 
Leave a message and I'll ring you back.

BRIDGET 
Harry, it's Bridget. I resign! 
I quit! I'm off! 
Keep your job. Goodbye!

ANNIE 
Oh dear.

BRIDGET 
From now on, no more bosses for Bridget. Bridget is the boss! 
Now I'll just get my lucky little ticket.

BRIDGET
Ah!!

ANNIE 
What is it?

 

BRIDGET 
My Lottery ticket has disappeared.

ANNIE 
What?!

BRIDGET 
But the dry cleaning ticket is still there. 
Hector has taken the wrong ticket. We'll go to the dry cleaner's.

BRIDGET [writing  email]
‘Today was Lottery day and, as usual, I did exactly the same thing to bring me luck.
I brushed my hair 100 times – 99, 100.
I arranged the cushions in my special order.
I did my yoga.’

ANNIE [writing  email] 
‘Guess what? The good news is, Bridget has won the Lottery.’

BRIDGET and ANNIE
Ahhhhhhhh!

ANNIE 
The bad news is, her winning Lottery ticket has disappeared. 
Bridget asked Hector to collect her dry cleaning, but Hector took the wrong ticket!

HECTOR 
Got it!

ANNIE 
Oh dear!
Poor Bridget!

BRIDGET 
My Lottery ticket has disappeared.

HECTOR and NICK
Hey …. Hey …. Ay!!!

HECTOR 
Hey, Nick, that waitress really likes you.

NICK 
Two girls in one day. 
Call me Mr. Irresistible, ooh-oh! Hi, girls.

HECTOR 
Hi, Bridget. Oops! 
Your dress, Bridget. I forgot, sorry. 
I..., how did you collect the cleaning when I had the ticket?

BRIDGET 
No, Hector -  darling. 
You have the wrong ticket.

HECTOR 
I have the wrong ticket?

BRIDGET 
You have the wrong ticket. 
Now give it to me.

 

HECTOR 
Yes, I have it here, Bridget.

BRIDGET 
You have got the ticket, Hector.

HECTOR 
Yes, I have got the ticket, Bridget. I have lost the ticket.

BRIDGET 
You have lost the ticket, Hector?

HECTOR 
I have lost the ticket, Bridget.

NICK 
You've lost the ticket, Hector. 
You can't have lost the ticket! Emily's number is on the back!

BRIDGET
Oh-wah-wah-ah!!

HECTOR 
Are you OK, Bridget?

BRIDGET 
The ticket you took from the board was not the dry cleaning ticket. 
It was my Lottery ticket. 
My winning Lottery ticket.

HECTOR 
Oh.

BRIDGET 
I am a multimillionaire. 
But with no ticket! 
And you, you can stop smiling, because this is your fault too!

ANNIE 
OK! Nick! Hector! Where have you been?

HECTOR 
Well, first we went to the CD shop.

NICK 
No, no, no. First we went to Leo's Cafe. Remember the waitress?

HECTOR 
Oh yeah! She was ... ... ...

BRIDGET 
Yes, and...?

HECTOR 
Then we went to the CD shop.

NICK 
Then we went to Cool Man.

HECTOR 
And then we went to the motorbike showroom.

NICK 
Yeah!

Sound of Nick and Hector imitating motor bike noises

BRIDGET 
Stop! 
So, you are going back to look for it!

HECTOR and NICK
Yes, ma'am!

BRIDGET 
And don't come back until you've found it, OK?

HECTOR & NICK
OK!

BRIDGET 
The ticket must be claimed by 10 o'clock tonight. 
Now get going!

HECTOR & NICK
Yeah, ... ... ...

BRIDGET 
Understood?

HECTOR and NICK
Understood!

ANNIE 
Cancer: "Today there is trouble at home."

BRIDGET
Grrrrr!!!

ANNIE
You can say that again!

NICK 
OK, Hector. I hope you find the ticket. See you later.

HECTOR 
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going?

NICK 
Well, I am going to the traffic lights. 
Emily might return. I can't ring her, because her number is on the lost ticket, remember?

HECTOR 
Yeah, but what shall I do?

NICK 
Look for the ticket, of course.

HECTOR 
Yeah, but what shall I say?

NICK

Well, you say..., OK, I am the shopkeeper. You are you.

HECTOR 
Great!

NICK 
Great.

HECTOR 
Good afternoon.

NICK [pretending to be shopkeeper]
Good afternoon.

HECTOR 
I have lost my ticket.

NICK [pretending to be shopkeeper]
What sort of ticket?

HECTOR 
Oh, my winning Lottery ticket.

NICK [pretending to be shopkeeper]
Oh, your winning..., wait a moment. 
You can't say, "I have lost my winning Lottery ticket".

HECTOR 
Why not?

NICK 
Because if they know it is a winning Lottery ticket, 
they will keep the money, they will hide it.

HECTOR 
Oh.

NICK 
So you must be someone else.

HECTOR 
Who?

NICK 
Ha! Someone who can search the rubbish bins.

HECTOR 
Search the rubbish bins?

NICK 
That's it! A dustman.

HECTOR 
Dustman?

NICK 
Yeah! A dustman can search the rubbish bins. Ha! Great idea, Nick.

HECTOR 
Yeah, great idea, Nick.

NICK 
Come on! You need to prepare!

 

NICK [writing email]
‘What a day! 
I met a girl called Emily at the traffic lights - she's crazy about me!
And she gave me her telephone number. 
Unfortunately I wrote her number on Bridget's Lottery ticket which Hector lost.’ 
Emily's number is on the back!

BRIDGET 
‘So I told them, "Don't come back until you find it.” 
Now get going!

HECTOR and NICK
Yeah-yeah-yeah!!!!

Sound of mobile phone ringing

HECTOR 
Hello?

BRIDGET 
Hello? Hector?

HECTOR 
Hello, Bridget.

BRIDGET 
Have you found the ticket?

HECTOR 
No, not yet.

BRIDGET 
Well, where's Nick?

HECTOR 
At the traffic lights.

BRIDGET 
What?! At the traffic lights? Well, 
call me when you've found the ticket! 
Leo: "Today you will have a big surprise. 
Your life will be turned upside-down." Hmm!

HECTOR
Right!

ANNIE
Leo: “Today you will have a big surprise.
Your life will be turned upside-down.”

BRIDGET
Ohhh!!!

NICK [whistling and humming]

BRIDGET 
Well?

NICK 
Well.

ANNIE 
Well?

NICK 
Well, what?

BRIDGET 
Any luck?

NICK 
Well, yes and no.

BRIDGET 
Yes and no?

NICK 
Hmm. The bad news is, I didn't find her.

BRIDGET 
Who?

NICK 
Emily.

BRIDGET 
Emily who?

NICK 
Emily, the girl at the traffic lights.

BRIDGET 
Oh.

NICK 
The good news is...

BRIDGET 
Yes?

NICK 
I made ?50 cleaning windscreens.

BRIDGET 
Ahhh! Where's Hector? 
Where's my ticket? Oh, look at the time. It's ten to ten!

ANNIE 
Ten to ten? 
I haven't fed Charlie. 
Oh, where is Charlie? I must find him.

NICK 
Charlie was asleep on my bed this afternoon.

ANNIE 
Oh, thanks Nick. 
Oh, there you are, Charlie. Charlie? What's this? 
Ohhhh! Ohhhhh! 
Bridget! Bridget! I found it! Your ticket!

BRIDGET 
What?!

NICK 
Where?

ANNIE 
On Nick's bed.

NICK 
Who?

BRIDGET 
On Nick's bed! 
Well, give it to me.

NICK 
No, give it to me!

BRIDGET 
It's my Lottery ticket.

NICK 
Emily's number's on the back!

BRIDGET 
It's mine!

NICK 
Give it to me!

ANNIE 
It's OK, it's OK. I'll stick it back together.

BRIDGET and NICK 
Grrrrrrrrrr!

ANNIE 
Done! Ha!  Oh, hi Hector. Oh, poor Hector. 
I've just found the ticket on Nick's bed. Isn't it exciting?

BRIDGET
Thank you!
Ha!
Now I can claim my money!

Sound of door being banged

ANNIE
Oh, poor Hector.
I’ve just found the ticket on Nick’s bed.
Isn’t it exciting!

HECTOR 
Yeah, great.

NICK
I can call Emily now!

HECTOR 
Oh, great!

NICK 
When Bridget has finished.

HECTOR 
Great.

ANNIE
Shh! Shh!

BRIDGET 
Hello! 
I'd like to claim my prize money, please. 
My numbers are: 66, 11, 89, 18 and 69. 
What?! What do you mean, they're not the winning numbers? 
Well, what are your numbers then? 
Well, 69, 81, 68, 11 and 99? But how?

HECTOR 
Hey, I know what happened. 
Bridget, what were you doing while watching the Lottery?

BRIDGET 
My yoga.

HECTOR 
Aha! Which position?

BRIDGET 
This one.

HECTOR 
Exactly. 
These are your numbers, but this way.

BRIDGET
Ohhh!!

ANNIE 
Oh, bravo, Hector.

HECTOR 
Hey, it was nothing.

NICK 
Aha! Emily's number. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. Aha, it's ringing. 
Helloooo. Is Emily there? No? 
Who are you? 
Jack's Taxis? Emily! You tricked me!

BRIDGET 
Oh, what an unlucky day. 
Well, it can't get any worse. Yes, it can. The phone call. 
My job. We must get that tape back. Now. 
And I know just the man for the job.

ANNIE
Well, it can’t get any worse!

BRIDGET
Yes it can!
The phone call.
My job. 
We must get the tape back – now!
And I know just the men for the job!

HECTOR & NICK
Oh no!

BRIDGET & ANNIE
Oh yes!

HECTOR 
Nick, should we be here?

NICK 
It's OK. Bridget said it was OK.

HECTOR 
Look! There is the answerphone.

NICK 
Quick, get the tape!

Sound of dog barking

SECURITY GUARD
Security! Who's there?

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA, Bridget's twin comes to stay, 
Hector asks Annie on a date and why is Bridget being so nice, or is she?

EXTRA, don't miss it.